Introducing Buff It Half!

Gone from bright purple to (as Dulux Paints calls it) Buff It Half!

Can still smell the paint fumes lingering off the walls.

As it's only a box room I decided to paint it a nice neutral colour. I'm going to accesorise it with light blue tones to spruce it up a bit!

I love the colour of this quilt! Blue and taupe are like a match made in heaven. I love how the fabric shimmers.
This comes from www.comeinside.com.au

I love french provincial/shabby shique. It's so pretty and girly.

Loneliness and bad thoughts!

I have always been a shy person. It's not until I began high school that I started to shut myself off from others. That way people wouldn't be able to bully or humiliate me. It was easier to put my head down, to be quiet and to hide. It never got me anywhere. I didn't make many friends so I was very lonely. My self confidence suffered, I was sad, angry with my self, frustrated and I was fearful of everything. I felt angry because I wanted to say so many things but was too afraid to do so. It's not until you hit rock bottom that you realise things have to change. When high school finished I lost my school friends who made me feel secure and less lonely. They weren't around anymore, people got jobs, met new friends and went to new places. I was angry most of the time. I couldn't get angry at my few friends I did have because I feared I'd lose them so I got angry at my family. It's not until I started seeing my therapist that I realised the things I did protected me from being humiliated or bullied at school because I never did anything! I was never truly just Alice. Expressing her opinions, needs or wants. I got into the habit of avoiding things to protect myself. The fact is I wasn't really protecting myself. I was hurting myself.

I've learned new habits today to help myself enter the world with a better outlook. I'll share some of these things that have helped me begin the process to change:

- I said sorry to family. Taking my anger out on them was not acceptable.
- I learned to be aware of warning signs of anger. Why are you really angry?! What are you going to do with it. BE MINDFUL!
- I talked with my parents about my situation. They have given me so much support.
- Start saying yes and stop saying no to going out.This one will involve discipline and will power. GIVE THINGS A TRY! Don't cheat yourself.
- Is the situation justified to be sad. MOST TIMES YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
- Accept the fact that sometimes things can go wrong and most times they go right.
- Test out situations. Sometimes with this one we need to ask for support.

and think

Is it a thought or a fact...?!

This is still a working progress and I'm learning to relax slowly. I learn new coping skills everyday. These things take time. It's not easy trying to break a habit that you've had for years!

What are you really asking for?

What are you really asking for?

It had been busy at work and I didn't like the early starts so I was beginning to dread work. In a brief 'frustrated and tired' moment I asked Mum if she could pray that I don't get called into work.
Mum shook her head and said "I'm not gonna do that!"
In the back of my mind I knew that I should have known better.
I got called in to work anyway!
The next day Mum gave me a cut out which she had got out of the paper which read,

Often you don't have what you need in life, because you do not ask God. Then when you do ask, you don't receive because you ask with wrong motives, totally focused on yourself.
James 4:2-3

I think sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture and think about what's really important.
How about thanking God for blessing me with work and a wonderful family! Or even asking God to teach me how to pray!
Sometimes when I'm frustrated with work or even with God I look for this verse and it helps me reassess what is really important and what it is I really need.

Sometimes it helps to write out a list of all the things you need and want in order to put things into perspective.

I still have that cut out pinned to a cork board in my room. It gives me a little reminder every time I look at it, its like God pointing his finger down at me saying 'Alice, you know better!' hahaha.

With all the love in the world,
Alice